Endless Cycle
by NamidaTaichou
Summary: To be broken. The anger, the tears, the untrusting. ZoSa. Quite sad : . Gets happier thankfully :. YAOI.


**Well August, wow was it really august when I last updated. Yikes.**

**Zoro: Yeah, where the fuck have you been. **

**Sorry I've been sort of busy. **

**Usopp: Lazy more like. **

**Shut the fuck up Pinocchio**

**Usopp:-_-'**

**I ain't got no strings to hold me down. :D.**

**Zoro: Don't sing ¬¬. **

**Fine, you're just jealous. I've hear you singing power ballads in the shower. **

**Zoro: That's not me. *shifty eyes***

**Riiiiiight. Any who I do not own anything apart from the idea. **

"Get the fuck out of my kitchen!" The cook slammed the door behind the first mate of the crew. He turned and slid down the door. And then huddled against himself he let the tears fall thick and fast.

On the other side of the door Zoro sighed deeply. He could hear Sanji crying through the wood. How did it get this bad? Their relationship had turned into an endless cycle of cheating, arguments, crying and they never really talked it out. Somehow it would just resolve itself. But it was still there. The anger, the tears, the untrusting. Just lying underneath the surface.

Every time it got a little worst because of the affects of the previous ones. So naturally this had been the worst one yet. It's was Zoro this time. He had got drunk with some random guy and ended up giving him a blowjob in an ally. Oh the wonders of alcohol.

He wasn't drunk every time he had cheated on Sanji; sometimes it was because of payback and random arguments. Not that it made it justifiable. Sanji did it too, often with women as he seemed to miss their sexual company.

Looking up at the crows nest Zoro recalled it being Usopp's shift. Deciding that he wouldn't return to the boy's room he climbed the ladder and told Usopp he would take over. He wasn't in the mood to sleep and even if he did sleep here at least it would be away from Sanji.

He hated seeing Sanji so upset, so devastated, so… broken. Yes it had happens a fair few times but it didn't make it any easier. In fact it was more difficult as it just clarified the ever growing insecurities of their relationship. Zoro had concluded a long time ago that they probably weren't any good for each other.

They didn't lie to each other; if one of them had cheated they would fess up. If they didn't it would eat at them, destroy their relationship either way so they may as well tell the truth. By now they could tell anyway. It was the same look in the eyes. A look of guilt and shame.

Yet the acts would be repeated. Neither of them really understood why they did it or why they stayed together but they did. It was the way their relationship worked and probably how it would work until the faithful day when it would all come crumbling down around them.

It hurt, it always hurt. No matter what side you were on. It chipped away at the remaining fragments of their relationship. It never broke, they were strong but it was only a matter of time.

Footsteps came from underneath him. He didn't move or even look when Sanji's head poked through the entrance. He sat down on the opposite side of the crow's nest and didn't say a word. They sat in this silence for a good amount of time before Sanji even opened his mouth. However the only thing that came out of his mouth was small noise, nothing that resembled a word.

His eyes were red and sore from the crying. His hair in a mess where he had ran his fingers through his hair. His cigarette packet had dwindled as he had smoked his way through half the pack.

Sanji opened his mouth again and actually managed to form words. "I ask myself over and over again why we stay together, why we put ourselves through it and I know you wonder the same thing. I search for any reasonable answer and I never come up with anything, well anything plausible to a normal human being. But we're not normal, we're damaged. Even more so now because of this relationship. The only thing I can come up with is that…

I need you Zoro. No matter what, you are there. I don't think I could function properly without you because all the stuff you do on a daily basis has become part of a routine which has become normality to me. I need normality; it stopped me panicking about things, remembering the hard times. So Zoro, I need you. I need you to be how you are every day; I need you to need me like I need you and to love me because after all we've been through, done to each other, I still love you."

Zoro stared at Sanji. Up to the speech it had been going as normal after the arguments. But Sanji had never opened himself up like that, especially not about the cheating or their relationship. It made him happy, that they were strong enough to get past this, past it all. He smiled and Sanji and he smiled back. Nothing more was said, it didn't have to be. Now they could trust each other and attempt to move past it all and look to the future.

**There we have it. Done. My first update in what seems like forever. **

**Usopp: Lazyyyyy. **

***Loud thumping and screams***

**Chopper: AHHHH What happened to Usopp. **

**We need a great doctor like you Chopper**

**Chopper: Idiot things like that won't make me happy!**

**^.^. **

**Review or whatever :). **


End file.
